Letter to My Future Self

Hello Dr. Taiwo,

Is it okay to call you that? Or are you completely averse to titles and surnames. If you’re anything like I am then you’ll probably be rolling your eyes right now. I am a huge fan of mononyms; but I can’t really predict what you’ll lean towards in 10 years.

I wonder if you still wear glasses, or if you have succumbed to the lure of laser surgery. I have a morbid fear of the idea of anything drilling into my eye sockets, but I’m guessing between now and 2025 scientists would have invented something less scary. I love having the option of contact lenses, but they can be tiring – as I have to remember to take them off at the end of the day. I hope you see better than I do. If I had a magic wand, my bad eyesight is something I’ll swish away in a heartbeat.

Writing this letter is not as weird as I thought it would be: it’s me, my laptop, a cup of tea, music playing through the earphones. Today, I realized I like Beyonce’s music. It’ll be really poetic if you’re listening to Beyonce’s “classic compilation” as you read this.
I hope you love music as much as I do. Someone once told me that it is important for a creative person to immerse herself in other forms of artistic expressions. I found myself naturally drawn to books and music, but it wasn’t because I was a Creative. Heck, I just love the idea of the sound of rhythm, lyrics and beats. I guess it was an added that I’m a writer, and I find peace in well written, and well arranged music. Don’t ever stop listening to music. It has helped me stay sane, and I know we share some fundamental traits.

Apart from her stunning vocals, Beyonce’s work ethics is a huge inspiration for me. Another black woman I really admire is Serena Williams. This weekend, she won her 21st Grand Slam title. How amazing is that? I have no doubt that you’re that woman whom a lot of women across the world look at and draw strength.

Today, I’m giving you what nobody gave me: something concrete from the past. You know how they say; the past provides building blocks for the future… Well I don’t know anybody who says that but it felt like a clever thing to write.

Speaking of writing, is that something you still do? I’m hoping that you’re reading this from the comfort of your home – bought from the proceeds of writing. I am working really hard to put a lot of things in place for you to have a really fulfilled life. I know life is not always about money, but, girl… you’re 44 you have no business still scrounging about and describing yourself as ‘a struggling writer.’ I imagine you lifted your eyebrows as you read that. “Why is she talking to me like a child?”

I am curious about your eventual choice of a doctoral thesis? I have no doubt that it was a really stressful period of your life. In fact, I’m glad you’re the one who dealt with it and not me. I know, I know. It’s bad of me to have passed the buck of that part of our life ambition to you; but think about it this way… I’m doing the leg work, putting structures in place to enable you get things running smoothly.

Are you still a happy person? Please tell me you still find beauty in the little things – ripples and baubles. Do you still laugh? God, I hope nothing has happened to make you lose your sense of humour. The ability to laugh cannot be overstated. If there’s anything that has happened to stifle the ringing from your heart, please let go of it as you read my words.

I don’t even believe that you’ll lose laughter in your life. I don’t imagine that can happen with the friends I have, and gone on to transfer to you.

I hope your children and husband bring you joy. I imagine your house with bright colours, fluffy pillows and a warm bed for anybody who is stranded. The mental picture has left me with a goofy smile.

You see, I’m glad we’re doing this, because Atoke of 2005 didn’t write me any letters. She was too busy trying to pass Family Law, and trying to rush back to her room in Moremi Hall to make sure nobody stole her bucket of water. I really want you to be fulfilled, and bring joy to people who know you.

Be content. Remember, patience and contentment and bringing a smile to people around us is all we really want.

I love you and I can’t wait to be you.

Love always.
Atoke 2015